Penny

Mobile Hate powered by Blackberry! Jake meets Penny, for the king of chill he looks excited.

JESUS GOD!

New year, new attempt at regularly assaulting (and possibly insulting) your eyes and minds with absolute ”irrelevant wank”.

The Motherlands mandate this year, is to step up the ”in your face” hatred of fryspace and basically get this blog in the FBI’s most watched list.

This year i will be aiming my hatred at the ”old Foe” longboarders/pedos, hipsters, uni boy faggots, bladders, the french, the coalition government, nick clegg, david cameron, who don’t even warrant capital letters for their names, dub-step, fake-ass hardcore kids, who besmirch the true hardcore with there emo in sheeps clothing two-stepping shcreamo wankery, North Korea, and many many more who will be revealed in the fullness of time.

But i will also be concentrating on good shit going down in the world of skateboarding, and people who in the eyes of the motherland are heros.

Remember if you don’t like what you read, then don’t fucking read it, because i care not if i upset you or make your eyes bleed.

To start the year off, Queensland Australia, inundated with monsoon rain, and under water, snakes, crocs and mozzys are rife in the flood waters, many people evacuated……………….but its no biggie for this badman………….

 

81 year old Collie Kime ”Despite police and emergency services urging him to relocate from his isolated house, where he lives alone, to the safety of an evacuation centre, he has vowed to stay put with only his dog Patch and budgerigar for company. Concerned friend and neighbours visit each day to bring him bread, milk and supplies of XXXX Gold beer.” and when pressed on the matter of costal taipans lurking in the water  ”I’ve had a few come through here trying to get dry and bothering me, but I just pick up my walking stick and give them a good whack. That tends to do the job.”

This guy is a certifiable Badman, unlike clegg and cameron who are big greasy cunts.

”Urrgrhhhhhhhhh” limp lifeless bodies, dead sunken eyes, shuffling around in tatty shit clothing, rank bodily fluids dribbling from there mis-shapen scabby  mouths, no its not my adventures into  Dawn of the Dead style plymouth, but my adventure for the Jobcenter.

Fuck me, i hate to break it to you but at the moment, the Motherland is funded by your tax payer dollar, but fuck you, i have worked since i was 14, after the man (118) made me redundant, looking for a job has been a bitch, work in the world domination field is hard to come by, and all seem to end badly, unless you count kim Yong Il, but unfortunately North Korea didn’t offer me an interview.

So as the job searching continues i unfortunately have to attend the Jobcenter every two weeks, today i had a scuffle with a scummer you decided to take the piss that i tried to walk out the wrong door (evidently he did not like being told to fuck off), one woman tried to scab a rollie off me, one puked up outside ”too much wine i think…….” whilst pushing her mated mane of hair out of her lifeless eyes,  Its 3 o fucking clock, and she is pissed? one fat cunt who decided to kick of at the 100 strong security posse for no reason, and some lanky haired skinny jean wearing trilby hat wearing mother fucker, and still after 6 weeks they continue to fuck me around!

But on the plus side, on my walk home i bumped into my nemesis, leader of the pedo longboarders, and they say a picture paints a thousand words……….. enjoy

New Skatepark…………new victims.

World Famine……………….

It saddens me to the very core when i think about all the starving children all over the world, children like Nogwai who has to longboard 20 miles to the nearest water source every day, even though it been used to wash the balls of a buffalo, it almost makes me shed a tear, so in an attempt to make myself feel better i had a roast, with enough food to of fed an entire African mud hut village.

Where do they come from…………..

The sun is out, after battling in a war of words with the jobcenter i have some time to get ”somink off me chest”. Sitting here in Fryspace HQ the St Judes mansion, i feel the need to educate people about a little known fact.

Whenever you turn on the news and you find a report about ”Britain’s” latest Pedophile, or as they would call themselves ”lover of children”, you often wonder why, ”Derek”  looks so much ”Like” an stereotypical pedophile, you would think that the threat of being anal raped or worse in a prison for being a nonce would give them reason to break the mould, be a maverick, and not conform to the typical ”Uncle Derek” way of dressing, Cream slacks, sky blue cardigan, a pair of crocs, skinny rollie in their yellow long-fingered hands and off course the creme de la creme the large plastic framed reactive lensed glasses with extra ”you can’t see me looking” effect, not to mention the large grey flasher mack.

I worry as they roll with the times and wise up, they might start wearing ”trendy” clobber, and riding a fixie into shoreditch like all the other trendy fasios, and become inconspicuous, so i though a photo of what they looked like in their youth would help, so if you wonder what someone who in future will covet  your children in a very wrong way then here is a picture of 3 future ”Kiddy Fiddlers”………………..Knowledge is power!

7 Seconds tonight………..

Running the Motherland from my St Judes fortress is a demanding occupation, often leaving me to lazy to do things i really should, finally being lazy has had  a benefit.

A few months ago when i was made redundant from my Directory Enquires Cover job, i got a nice little pay out, they call it severance pay, but really they wanted to keep me sweet t0 avoid the retaliation of my once Customer service unit, the hamas hit squad! With this money i booked tickets to see Cro-mags in Brighton, and Agnostic Front/7 Seconds  in london and i accidentally booked tickets for 7 Seconds in exeter as well, and the dates conflicted with Cro-mags, so i intended to cancel tickets for the exeter show, but putting all my other money into developing my wireless carrier pigeon communication system, i temporailly bankrupted the Motherland, meaning my armored Clio tank hand to come off the road, so unable to get to London or Brighton, i now find myself with tickets for 7 Seconds in exeter, and seeing as if i had been less lazy and money caring i would of canceled them! Score 1 for being lazy.

So tonight i will be fucking smashing it up to 7 Seconds!

Fryspace is back unfortunately, like a nasty case of herpes!

The lord hig Hesh marshal is back hitting the intershreb web like the crucio curse from that ‘arry potter book, much has been annoying me of late, so Fryspace, my personal soap box, is rising from the ashes, ready to bring shame upon the shameful, remember Fryspace is the opinion of My tiny mind, and therfore, if you do not like what you read here, don’t fucking read it.

Hamas hit squad has sadly had to give up on the Customer Satisfaction Department, and now it has been replaced by a flock of bad assed seagulls, so when you see a seagull in future, ask yourself, did i insult Fryspace? as they may be coming to fuck your shit up.

Lots more rants to follow soon, but to start off, if you take a camera phone/digital camera, and stand in front of the mirror, and take a myspacey picture of yourself, looking all moody and ”cool’ for your (insert preferred social networking sight here), then you are a GRADE A fucking Bender, and you should head to Bridgened, and lay down and die to sad music like the elephant man.